Affairs in a marriage or committed partnership can be disastrous. If that betrayal has been a part of your marriage,
I know you understand. It changes everything. The pain one feels at the other end of an affair can not be described. It goes
from having your heart broken, to severed trust, to the question "What did I do wrong that my partner wanted someone else."
There is no justification for having an affair. There are, however, reasons they occur. What I've found in working with many
couples in this situation is that something in the relationship wasn't working. Usually, it didn't feel safe for one or both
partners to communicate their needs, hurts, fears, and frustrations. It's very intoxicating to find someone outside the marriage
who you can talk to….Someone who listens, and who is new and available to you. It's all fantasy. However it feels good. It is a
catastrophic exit in a relationship, and can lead to separation, and in many cases the end of the relationship altogether.
There is another option. Affairs can be a catalyst for couples to create a new marriage... one that is conscious, one
that feels safe and one where trust can be rebuilt. I've seen it happen time and time again. There is an injury, but
like all injuries, if properly cared for, healing does take place. I've learned from the couples I've worked with, that if
both people want to recreate the bond they experienced, it can be done.